Don't want to hang up.

Every weekend, my roommate goes back home and leaves me an empty apartment. At first I thought it's cool to own the whole apartment. But when the night comes and it getting dark, loneliness will fill up the room. As usual the feeling of loneliness reached the peak at the midnight and I started to call my friends in China, because it's daytime there. Since I got busy recently and I haven't call my friends for like 2 weeks. So when the voice came through the phone, my mind was suddenly full of joy instead of loneliness. I asked how things going on there and joked around. Then I shared some awkward moments about me in the US. I always told them I am fine here. But every time before I spoke that out, I paused a little bit. I'm not sure whether my current situation is good enough to be called OK, but I always comfort myself that things will get better latter. I don't know this is optimist or just fooling myself. All I can do is feel company and joy from my friends, even though it's just through phone and there are thousands of miles between us. The hardest part is to hang up the phone. I hope that moment can last longer, and I know if I hang up the phone I will come back to the real world, which is an empty apartment filled with loneliness. I think this is what friends mean, they will fill your heart with love at the moment you are most vulnerable. I love you guys.